break of the norm

last sunday was the first day of ramadhan. for once in my life i started the month on my own. even when i was away studying i was not on my own. okay so there was a time when i was at my foster's parents and they are not muslim, but that doesn't count coz there were people in the house. tom (foster cousin) greeted me early in the morning coz he thought it was the same as easter or something similar since he saw the fuss that my friends and i went through, calling here and there to confirm the first day of fasting, he told me with all the buzz we created it looked kinda celebratory..., actually, that was one of the most memorable ramadhan experience. different, yet interesting (if you ever get your cyber arse to reading my blog tom, know that you ARE remembered). other than that it was with my friends and housemates. we went through the same process of telephoning people we think might have the latest info...why is it a bother? i dont know,...it just a feeling, it feels a bit different, maybe because i missed the people i was with or maybe i missed the buzz of being sure yet not brave enough to admit it (or maybe because this year i'm OLD!!!..hahaha!)

Beginning fasting on a day off was horrible! you'd basically wake up and after finishing up the usual chores of being a grown-up living- on-your-own, you end up doing nothing. you try to watch the telly which made you realise that weekend telly are peppered with food and cooking programmes so end up being hungry. when you're hungry and and you cant eat ou'd end up swearing and cursing to the world and yourself. so, what's left of the "purity" of your fast anymore? sleeping? wish it was easy! it took an hour to have a siesta on an empty stomach, tossing and turning on the bed, on the couch, on the floor...in the end i fell asleep tired of being angry to the world....i'm way past the phase of having an angst.